we're chasing vodka with high fives
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
