Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.