Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.