Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.