Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.