My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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