I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
