at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You ruined the universe
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
