i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
