my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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