Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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