There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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