so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I need a hoe opinion
go on
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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