Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
