I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
