Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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