if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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