i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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