And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
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I feel like a drive thru vagina
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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