i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
