there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize