Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
