i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize