C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
