you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
