True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
