Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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