Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
