i can't believe i had my finger in that
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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