I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
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If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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