I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
