When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
