I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
