I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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