I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
