last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
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