I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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