How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
