Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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