It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
