I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
