Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
