Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
