I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
