oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize