i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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