i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
