CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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