If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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