One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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