bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you made out with another girl for some wings
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
