Banned from zoo.
Again?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
vagina is talking i cant
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
