Swine flu. Run for my life!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
