We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What a dumb baby whore.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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