Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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