Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
