I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
