I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
