I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
