I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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