He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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