and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
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totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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