Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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