i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
