yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
