i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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