That's intense
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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